Stages of Grief
by The Bad Wolf Girl
Summary: Oneshot. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Suffering losses is never as easy as you think, especially when it's your best mate. /Knuxouge with slight hints of Shadamy and other ships./


**AN: Hello everybody, and welcome to my newest story! As you can tell by the title, it's gonna be full of angst and sadness. I was gonna make it either Silvaze or Shadamy, but decided on Knuxouge. Much love, and enjoy!**

_**X**_

_** Denial–**_

Rouge the Bat was having a pretty good day. The sun was setting, the sky was clear, and her friends had invited her to a picnic. They were currently sitting on a lovely checkered blanket and little triangular sandwiches were being passed around along with cups of tea and the occasional hint of coffee.

The ivory bat sipped her coffee, turquoise eyes fluttering shut as she let out a hum of content. She nearly missed the timid voice of Cream the Rabbit calling to her.

"Miss Rouge?"

"Oh!" Rouge opened her eyes, smiling at the bunny. "Yes dear?"

The 11 year old rabbit smiled a bit. "It's nice to see you out of your house, and I'm glad you accepted my invitation for this!"

Rouge nodded, taking another sandwich. "Well your cooking is good, Cream. Glad to see Amy teaching you well."

Amy blushed from the unexpected compliment and laid back further into Shadow. "Thanks, Rouge! I've gotta give the credit to Vanilla; she taught me everything I know."

Everyone at the gathering circle nodded; Sonic just grinned and stuffed his face with a chili dog. "Okay, did Amy make the chili dogs again?"

Sally Acorn, his girlfriend, smiled. "Of course she did! No one can make chili sauce like Amy can."

Shadow shifted his weight so he could look into Amy's face. "Rose, what have I told you about making food for Faker?"

"Not to do it?" She tried to look innocent.

"And yet you still do?" He said calmly, unblinking.

Amy just grinned and patted him on the cheek. "It seems as though you've never met me before. Have we met?"

Shadow silenced her with a quick kiss and leaned back against his tree again, a faint smile appearing. He wasn't one to show affection in public and whenever he did, Amy always swooned and was a bright red for a while.

Silver smiled at the couple and passed Blaze a sandwich, giving her puppy dog eyes. The amethyst cat just rolled her eyes and pecked him on the cheek. Silver just grinned with happiness.

Tails' namesakes were stirring up leaves behind them, making a small tornado of dirt and twigs. It wasn't a secret that he was worried about Rouge; in fact, everyone there was still worried. The girls exchanged looks and tried not to ask Rouge about what happened. The last time someone tried that, she locked herself up in her mansion and no one had seen her for two weeks.

"Um, Rouge?" Sally cautiously asked.

The Sonic Team showed signs of panic; Sonic was shaking his head rapidly, Tails looked terrified, Cream had gasped and buried her face in Tails' chest fur, Blaze and Shadow were glaring at her, and Amy and Silver were panicking and holding onto each other.

Rouge showed no indication that she noticed. "Yes, Sally?"

The chipmunk hesitated, unsure whether to go on. "…"

Confused by her silence, Rouge put her teacup on her lap. "Sally, what's wrong?"

Unnerved by everyone staring at her, Sally burst out, "What happened in December with Knuckles?"

_Rouge's world stopped._

Her eyes went unfocused and back onto Sally's flaming red hair. It was a shade darker than Knuckles, and nearly the same shade as his blood–

_What? Where did blood come from? _Rouge nearly chuckled. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sally dear." She said calmly.

Sally stood up angrily. "You know damn well what I'm talking about, Rouge! What happened in December with Knuckles?!"

Rouge shrugged. "I don't know why you're getting fussy about this, Princess. He's at home guarding the Master Emerald."

"No, he's not!" Sally snarled. "Rouge, he's _dead_!"

_Hideous laughter, blurs of colors in front of her._

The snowy bat burst out laughing. "How could he be dead? He's Knucklehead for Chaos's sake; nothing could even hurt him!"

By this point, Sally was nearly in full hysteria and started screaming at Rouge. "HE'S DEAD, ROUGE! YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE THERE WHEN WE FOUND HIM, AND I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T KILL HIM! WHAT HAPPENED IN DECEMBER?!"

Rouge stood up, shaking off Amy and Blaze at her side. "Sally, I'm not liking your attitude. My Knucklehead, dead? No he's not, and you can go back to Knothole missy! You're just a Princess with a spoiled bratty personality."

Everyone by now was already up. Tails and Cream were rushing home, upset at the turn of events. Blaze was furious and marched home, fire literally flickering off her. Silver bade Amy and Shadow goodbye and ran after her.

Sonic was giving both Rouge and Sally a dismayed look. "Sally, remember what Tails told us?" The azure hedgehog murmured into her ear. "Denial, right? You're not going to change her mind."

"Let me go Sonic!" Sally yelled, arms flailing. Only Shadow and Amy remained, standing next to Rouge.

"Rouge, do you wanna head back to our place?" Amy asked, trying to look at the bat.

The jewel thief had folded her ears back, flashing back to that night.

_A plan gone wrong from the start._

"No, I'm fine." Rouge managed to find her voice. She nodded her thanks to the two hedgehogs and snapped her wings open, shooting off into the setting sun.

Shadow and Amy watched her go, full of sorrow. "How long until we see her again?" Amy whispered, jade eyes welling with tears.

The Ultimate Life Form pressed a gentle kiss to Amy's forehead. "I don't know, Rose. We'll have to wait and see."

_**X**_

_**Anger–**_

Rouge the Bat was _FURIOUS_. She couldn't put it off anymore, no, not after the last incident–

"Miss Rouge?"

Fangs were bared, claws outstretched. She flew at the shocked echidna with eyes full of fire. "WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME!?" She shrieked, chest heaving from all the anger burning inside her. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Tikal just backed away a bit. "Miss Rouge, I know it's difficult for you to comprehend–"

Rouge's nails dug into Tikal's shoulder, making the orange echidna cry out in shock. "HE'S GONE, TIKAL!" She yelled in her face. "HE'S GONE AND HE LEFT ME HERE WITHOUT HIM!"

_A smirk, a grin. He had it under control._

A growl ripped through the air and Chaos formed next to Tikal, ready to throw Rouge off Angel Island. "Chaos, no!" Tikal cried, wincing as Rouge drilled into the ground and screamed incoherent things. The Master Emerald was humming intensely from all the scattered emotions in the air.

A flash of emerald electricity, and Shadow stood there with Amy. They rushed to Rouge's side, Amy reaching her first. "Rouge–"

Amy suddenly let out a scream as Rouge's nails raked across her muzzle; the sakura hedgehog fell down, whimpering as she felt warm blood ooze from her wounds.

"ROSE!" Shadow yelled.

He skidded to her. "Are you alright?" He asked urgently, crimson eyes flickering over her scratches. Amy shook him away. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "Go help Rouge."

Shadow hesitated. He knew that she was bleeding badly but needed to stop his co-worker and friend before she hurt anyone else.

With a furious scowl on his face, Shadow practically stormed up to Rouge, who was shouting profanities at the sky.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, HARMING ROSE WHEN SHE HAS DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG!" Shadow snarled, daring Rouge to rise to the challenge. Her pride got the best of her and she snapped back, "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF AMY LEFT YOU, HUH?! SHE WOULD NEVER RETURN AGAIN AND YOU COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! YOU'RE IMMORTAL, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG! IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!"

Shadow stopped dead in his tracks. Even Tikal and Chaos went quiet to see what would happen next. Amy looked heartbroken.

Rouge was huffing, fur on end and matted with dirt. Her eyes were clouded with rage and grief.

The Ultimate Life Form was quiet.

"Shadow–" Amy began to say, reaching towards him.

He shoved her away, not looking at the sakura female. "Go away, Rose." His voice was practically steel infused.

Amy looked shocked. "But…Shadow…" She tried again.

This time, Shadow pushed her over. "Amy," he snarled, "go away! I don't want you here!"

The female held her cheek, which was still profusely bleeding. Her jade eyes were wide with hurt.

Rouge's anger was lifting, and she looked around at the furious male and heartbroken female in front of her. _Oh, Rouge_. Her conscience whispered. _What have you done?_

Shadow just pulled out his Chaos Emerald and warped away, leaving strands of green flickering in the air behind him.

Amy broke down into tears, her tears mixing with her blood. Tikal approached her and offered the hedgehog her hand. "Oh, Amy dear." Her voice was full of sorrow. "I will send someone to talk to him. I promise you, it is just a misunderstanding."

"How would you know?" Amy said bitterly.

Rouge stepped forward, suddenly realizing the trouble she had caused. "Amy…I'm so sorry." The bat said, ears flat against her fur.

Amy shot her a look that made her stop dead in her tracks. It was full of sorrow and heartache and hate. "Don't Rouge. I want you out of here, please."

Rouge didn't say anything else, instead nodding and opening her wings to fly away.

She was a little bit far out when she heard Amy's cry of distress and the thud of her body collapsing onto the ground with sobs.

_**X**_

_**Bargaining–**_

The mansion was quiet. Silent, even. It didn't matter to Rouge. No one had visited her in the past few days after word got out that Shadow abandoned Amy thanks to her.

Only Cream had come over. Rouge couldn't deny that cute little face with the huge eyes. The rabbit had informed her that Amy locked herself in her room and hadn't come out in days.

"And everyone else?" Rouge asked quietly.

Cream sighed. "Tails, Sonic, and Blaze are hunting Shadow down, Silver is trying to get Amy out of her room, and Sally is trying to get word about what happened in December from Eggman, who's still in the hospital."

Rouge shuddered at the sound of his name, a flashback rising up in her mind.

"_HAHAHAHA!" An unmistakable laugh._

"_We'll get him!" He promised, flashing her that cocky smile._

_He had guaranteed a date at the Emerald._

_A date that would never happen and would haunt her dreams forever._

"Miss Rouge?"

She snapped out of it. "Sorry, Creamy dear. I zoned out. Do…do they know I'm sorry?"

Cream hesitated. "They do, but no one believes it. I forgive you though!"

Rouge just weakly nodded. "Thank you, Cream. May I see you tomorrow?"

The rabbit gave her a hug. "Of course, Miss Rouge! Goodbye for now!"

She skipped out the door and closed it. The moment it shut, Rouge just let out a small sob and looked up. "I'd give anything to have you back, Knucklehead. I'd give up my jewels and everything just to hear you laugh or call my name again."

Rouge then realized that Tikal was technically a goddess, so she called out, "Tikal! Please! There must be something I can do so you can bring him back!"

Orange, twinkling lights filled the room and Tikal was there. She shook her head sadly. "As much as I wish I could do that, Miss Rouge, I cannot. I cannot bring back the dead and nor can Chaos."

Rouge's heart broke. "There's gotta be something! Anything! Even my life!"

Tikal looked shocked. "No, Miss Rouge! I will not offer your life for his!"

The ivory thief was starting to get desperate. "Anything in this mansion! The mansion itself!"

The echidna shook her head sadly. "Nothing can bring him back, Miss Rouge. He is gone and residing with Chaos's spirit. I am truly sorry for your loss."

The bat collapsed, such pure heartbreak in her expression that Tikal could feel her emotions from her spot. "P-Please…" She sobbed. "I want my Knucklehead back with me."

Tikal put a hand on her furry shoulder. "I am sorry, Miss Rouge."

And she was gone.

_**X**_

_**Depression–**_

Rouge didn't sleep that night and fell deeper into her sorrow. Her dreams were full of her lover and what had happened and what could have happened if nothing had gone wrong that night.

She missed him _**so **_much. They were soulmates, Knuckles and her. He couldn't have left her.

Rouge fell harder than Amy did. Her entire world had shattered; without her beloved Knuckles, there was no color. She couldn't breathe. She was drowning in a pit of depression, of sorrow, for her lost love.

After a while, she didn't care about her appearance anymore. Her gorgeous pristine fur, which she always kept clean, was now dirty and dusty. She didn't wear her cat suit; rather, a simple t-shirt and jeans is what she donned nowadays. She wore no makeup, finding the task too difficult for her fragile self and the fact that she always cried and ruined it.

Rouge had given up. It was that simple.

Cream was the first to find out. She informed the others and Tails reckoned that it was the fourth stage of grief; Depression.

"At least she's near Acceptance!" Tails said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Silver, Sonic, and Cream were the only people allowed into Amy's room. It was full of clutter and things had been smashed and ripped to pieces. Shadow hadn't been found yet, but Tails reported movement above the ARK.

"He would go to the only place that offered him comfort; Maria, not me." Amy whispered. It would be the only thing anyone could get out of her before she dissolved into tears once more.

Cream wanted to help both of them. She needed someone like her, someone to calm Rouge and Amy down and fix everything right again. Who would help Cream on a mission like this?

A smile grew across her face and she practically marched to the hedgehog that her mind thought of and dragged him to Rouge's desolate mansion.

They knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. A weary voice called out, "Who's there?"

"It's me, Cream! And Silver!" The cream rabbit said cheerfully.

Rouge opened the door and Silver's golden eyes widened a fraction. The bat had bags under her eyes; her fur was unkempt and she seemed exhausted. "Come on in, guys."

The three made their way across the marble floors and headed to the couch; Rouge just plopped herself on the seat while Silver and Cream sat down in a dignified manner. "What brings you here after everything I've done?" Rouge asked.

Cream swallowed, suddenly fearful of Rouge's wrath. The thief shook her head. "I won't bite, I promise. My temper was gone long ago; I've got nothing left in me now."

"We wanted to talk to you about…" Silver hesitated. "Knuckles. We wanted to know if you needed someone to talk to about it."

She let out a hollow laugh. "Who would listen after what I've done to Shadow and Amy and Knuckles?"

"We would," Silver said firmly. "That's why we're here."

Rouge leaned forward and eyed Silver with interest. "When did you start to grow up?" She said sadly.

The albino hedgehog just shook his head mournfully.

Rouge clasped her hands. "May I tell you the truth but ask that you not tell the others until I'm ready?"

Silver and Cream nodded. "We promise!" They said in unison.

A faint smile flickered over her face, the first one in weeks. "Thank you."

And she told them the story of that cold December night, the day her heart broke.

_There was too much screaming. It was hers, she figured. Only a bat could reach that pitch._

_There was too much blood and it was on her clothes and it started to drown her._

Somewhere in her body, a spark lit. The pool of depression started to lift. She wasn't drowning anymore. She was nearly done with her grief.

As she continued, Silver and Cream would ask questions and she would answer. It seemed like a relief that her mind wasn't wrapped around that same memory anymore; she had someone to share it with. It was no longer a burden.

It was time for her to face the truth and move on.

_**X**_

_**Acceptance–**_

Rouge stood over the gravestone, eyeing it with a faint smile. One hand held a piece of paper and the other was clenched shut. "So, here we are again." She tilted her head. "It's been a year, my love."

The wind blustered through the wintery air, forcing Rouge to hold on tight to her treasures. "I almost didn't make it out of my grief for you. Luckily, I had a few friends to help me out."

She paused and a tear rolled down her cheek, briefly flashing back once more.

_Eggman was up to something. Rouge and Knuckles had volunteered to go find out what._

_They had arrived to find Eggman meant business; guns and robots and missiles. It was worse than what they had originally thought. _

"Eggman passed away in the hospital, by the way." Rouge shrugged, shifting her thick coat. "No one was that upset about it. I actually cheered and called for you; I hope that was okay."

The wind had calmed down, and it seemed as though there was warmth in it. But it seemed impossible. In this cold? There couldn't be any heat. And yet Rouge felt her heart beat, warm and full of love for her beloved Knucklehead.

"_I can't believe you didn't let me take out that guard robot!" Rouge had complained to Knuckles. _

_He had laughed. "Don't want my girl to get hurt on my watch."_

_They set off in search of Eggman._

Rouge dabbed her face with a tissue. "Tikal gave me the ring you had bought. I had no idea that you were going to propose that night. Could the timing be any worse?"

She glanced at her ring finger; it was a gorgeous thing, silver and gold intertwined and small jewels decorating it. "Tikal also told me that you had told her once that a jewel thief used to steal gems, but stole your heart instead. I'm glad I mostly gave up on those because I had something more precious in my possession."

_The two found him surrounded by a force of robots._

"_I'm going to assassinate the President and take over the world!" He had cackled._

"_Try and get past us first, Egghead!"_

"Shadow's back with Amy again." Rouge continued with a smile. "Tails got word to him about everything that had happened and he came home to her. I've never seen her that happy before."

A chuckle seemed to float on the breeze. Rouge smiled widely with fangs showing. "I know you're here, Knuckles." She looked back to the gravestone.

_Robot after robot. It seemed like an onslaught, wave after wave. _

"_We'll get him!" Knuckles promised, flashing her a cocky grin._

_She returned it. "Don't we always?"_

Rouge opened her palm to reveal a gorgeous ruby, broken into shards. "This is the last gem I have, Knucklehead, and I want you to have it. Okay? Don't lose it for me, or you'll have an earful when I join you later on in life."

Deep laughter filled her ear. "_We'll see, Batgirl._"

_They were almost done. A few more robots to go when Eggman pulled out his gun. "You won't get away this time!" He screeched, pointing it at Rouge._

_The bat froze dead in her tracks, ears folding back and eyes widening in shock. Even the robots stopped, surprised that he would do it._

_Knuckles started to run, punching anything out of his way. "ROUGE!"_

_She couldn't move._

_Eggman's sadistic grin was the only thing she saw._

_**BANG!**_

"Doctors said that Eggman had gone crazy. Fighting us for years, losing every time, well, it brought down his sanity and the fact that he was getting older didn't help." Rouge shrugged and kneeled down next to Knuckles's grave.

She observed the dirt and deposited the shards with a smile. "Now you've got a small token of me. I hope you like it; the ruby reminded me of you and our love. It's not broken, I assure you, because my heart beats for you and only you. Forever and always, Knucklehead."

_Cold steel. Her arm stinging. _

_The smoke from the gun was rising._

_Eggman was laughing._

_A blur of colors, red mixed with gray and black and it made her head spin._

_An unmoving body on the floor._

_It took Rouge a second to realize that it was Knuckles._

_She dove to the ground, screaming, calling his name, hoping he would awaken. "EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT!" She was screaming into his ear. "DON'T YOU DARE SLEEP ON ME, KNUCKLEHEAD. YOU PROMISED ME A DATE!"_

_The blood was a bit hard to see, it was only a few shades darker than his fur. His beautiful violet eyes, always clear and shining, were starting to cloud over. "KNUCKLES!"_

_He suddenly coughed, flecks of blood covering his muzzle and the pristine white crescent on his chest. "Batgirl…"_

_She sobbed and held him close, feeling his heartbeat wane in her embrace._

_Knuckles had saved her. Pushed her out of the way and taking the bullet full force in the chest. _

"_Knuckles!" She cried, tears staining his fur as well. "Why would you do that?!"_

"_Because I love you," was his simple answer. "I don't want you to get hurt on my watch, remember?"_

_Rouge just cried more and felt her world sway. It wouldn't be right without her Knuckles._

"_I called for backup a while ago," she shook him. "Stay awake! You've gotta stay awake!"_

"_Rouge, you and I both know that I'm not going to make it." Knuckles gasped in pain and he glared furiously at Eggman, who was doubling over from laughing too hard. The robots made no move to help him. _

"_No, Knuckles! We're getting out of this alive and you're gonna take me on that date and you're gonna kiss me because it's a few days till Christmas and it'll be romantic under the mistletoe and I'm going to tell you that I love you because you're my whole world." Rouge babbled, putting her forehead to Knuckles's. _

_The ruby Guardian's eyes were glazed over. "I love you, Rouge the Bat."_

"_And I love you, Knuckles the Echidna." She sobbed into his fur._

_With his final effort, he gently caressed her fur and brought her into a light kiss, filled with every sweet and loving thing he had ever told her. She returned it with his passion and opened her eyes when she noticed that he went slack._

_Her heart shattered into a million pieces and her world turned upside down._

"Well, it's Christmas again, so I've gotta get back to Amy's. I've got word from Shadow that he's gonna propose and I wanna see the look on Amy's face when he does it." Rouge stood up and brushed off the dirt, watching as the shards sparkled in the cold.

_Rouge turned to face Eggman, her expression a mix of absolute rage and grief. _

_The fool had kept laughing but looked at Rouge and grinned. "Seems as though my Christmas has come early! Shame for you he's dead, huh?"_

_She just snapped._

_Blurs of red. Screams of terror. It meant nothing to Rouge as she descended like a dark angel upon Eggman, screaming and crying with fangs and nails outstretched. Her wings were blurs of darkness, boots delivering sharp kicks to Eggman's ribs._

_He was nearly dead when she finished. _

_Rouge dragged herself back to Knuckles's body and draped herself over him, crying and covered in blood._

_She had to be forcefully pulled away from him when the Sonic Team and the ambulances arrived._

"I love you, Knucklehead." Rouge smiled at the grave and felt warmth incase her and bring familiar feelings of being safe and loved in his arms. "_I love you too, Batgirl._"

_She refused to tell them what happened. She would keep the last memory of her Knuckles alive as long as she lived. She promised him._

"Forever and always, right?" She asked, turning to walk away.

A huge gust of wind made her twirl around to see the shards moving on the ground. Her turquoise eyes widened as the fragments moved themselves into a piece that was known to her.

Rouge smiled, eyes welling with tears as she blew a kiss to it. _"Forever and always, my love." _Knuckles's voice was warm in her ear.

She trudged off, crying softly with a huge smile as she left the cemetery.

In her place was a gorgeous ruby heart, shining brightly and glowing and full of love.

It would be a long time until Rouge saw her Knucklehead again, but when she did, she screamed and ran to him. The echidna laughed as she nearly tripped but used her wings to fly herself higher. Shadow and Amy watched from a distance with a smile; they had taught their children well and now resided with Knuckles and the rest of the gang.

Tails and Cream were still alive, watching over everyone's children and grandchildren. Rouge had passed on to see her love.

"Knuckles!" She cried out as she threw her arms around him. It wasn't until she raised an ear that she noticed that Knuckles was muttering her name like a chant, happy that she had returned to him. "Rouge, Rouge, Rouge, RougeRougeRouge…"

"I love you, Knuckles the Echidna." Rouge sobbed, never wanting to let go.

Knuckles just held her tighter. "I love you more, Rouge the Bat."

Rouge had finally overcome her despair and anger and heartache and she was finally at peace with her Knucklehead.

Just as it should be.

_**X**_

**AN: Ooh, that was fun. Drop a review if you want, and maybe give me a story idea? I'll see if I can write it or not. Much love, and au revoir! **


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